Cutting Costs

With the news that our salaries at the College are going to be reduced substantially within the week, I made the calls this morning that I have been dreading for months. I cut a subscription and cut back on some other automatic payments. I feel fortunate that we are not in danger of loosing our home right now and we don't have to make extreme modifications to our lives yet, but for the last several months I have been looking ahead to these cancellations with dread, fear, and a lot of anger.

With all of these negative emotions leading up to the cancellations I made today, I find it strange that I feel a real sense of happiness and relief. Maybe it is relief that I have made these cost reductions and service eliminations and I still feel ok. Maybe it is relief -- a feeling that I at least have some control over this little thing in my life. Maybe it is happiness that I don't have to worry about making these payments any more. I don't actually feel that I have lost a single thing. I still feel like the same person I was yesterday when I was making these payments and accessing these services. Hopefully some of the cost cuts I made today will let me keep more important parts of my life intact for a longer period of time. More cost cutting measures may be required in the future, things that won't be so easy to let go, but I am going to try to look at those days ahead without dread, I am going to try to look ahead with interest. I wonder what these new experiences will bring.